I think about it...
I fantasize about it...
I ache for it...
But I'm scared of it...
I miss it, tremendously, I think about it almost non-stop...
When it's time, I hyperventilate...
I tear up and can't... breathe...
my body wants it but my mind....
can't relax... won't relax...
... to actually allow someone that close to me, to be that open with someone
to be that vulnerable... emotionally...
This isn't the kind of fucked I was hoping for...
